Rylin Muphy was born on Friday, July 16th.  A very timely baby that showed up EXACTLY on her due date.  I had been to the doctor earlier that week and she told me we would likely see a baby any day. Given that Reign (my first daughter) had come just 2 days after her due date, and the “ready” position my body and cervix seemed to be in, we were still expecting Rylin right around the projected due date. 

Even though our birth story TECHNICALLY starts early Friday morning, we are going to back this story up to Wednesday night, as that is when things start to become relevant and well, you need the WHOLE story to understand.  Wednesday I wasn’t feeling all that great, but really assumed it was just labor coming on and overall exhaustion from being pregnant in July, closing on and moving into our new house two weeks earlier, and having a 22-month-old.  However, Wednesday night, I was up puking about every 3 hours. I am STILL not sure if this was a stomach bug that my toddler brought home from daycare, or my body preparing for labor by “emptying” which I have since heard is a common occurrence.  But either way, I was obviously miserable. Getting sick all night is exhausting and not fun, getting sick while nearly 40 weeks pregnant with a toddler is downright miserable. Obviously, I hardly got any sleep that night (Wednesday into Thursday) and spent most of the morning Thursday trying to get any kind of food or fluid in me, and just puking it up. I was getting so worried that we ended up calling the doctor and she called in a nausea medication for me just so I would be able to stop puking and hold down some liquid. I finally got relief around dinner time on Thursday and stopped throwing up. I got as much fluid in me as I could for the rest of the night and went to bed early.  

My in-laws arrived Thursday night while I was asleep (just after 10pm).  They were scheduled to come in from Nebraska so that they could be with my toddler while I had Rylin.  We obviously had no idea when Rylin would arrive, but they were prepared to stay for about a week if needed.  We didn’t know how “just in time” they really were!

LABORING AT HOME

At 3am on Friday morning (Thursday night into Friday), I was woken up by contractions. They started pretty light and I was able to sleep (or at least lay in bed and rest) on and off for about 2-3 hours. It should be noted here that my labor with Reign (my first daughter who I gave birth to 22 months prior) included “back labor” from start to finish.  If you are unfamiliar with this, it happens when your contractions are present ONLY in your lower back. I felt absolutely NO abdominal contractions through her labor and instead just had constant pain and pressure in my lower back with no real “waves” of on/off that happen with abdominal contractions.  I could not sit down, I could not get ANY relief.  It is incredibly intense and painful and makes for a much longer labor as these contractions do not push the baby down as efficiently, and feel intense much sooner in the process.  They don’t completely know the reason for this and my doctor told me that could have been the way my uterus was positioned (something I anatomically can not change, which would mean it would happen every time I birthed) OR the fact that Reign (my first) was “sunny side up” meaning the back of her head was to my back, causing the pressure, instead of her nose being toward my back which is ideal.  Needless to say, I was hoping so much that my 2nd birthing experience would NOT include back labor.  To my relief, the first few contractions I felt with Rylin at 3am were in my abdomen (like normal) and I actually wasn’t completely sure if they were even contractions at first, as I had never felt them before.  BUT, about an hour in, I started to experience some back contractions again and got REALLY nervous that I was going to have back labor from there on out. I IMMEDIATELY got into a rocking frog position (belly down) and stayed there until a few contractions in a row returned to my abdomen. I had been given this advice before this birth and was told it would help make sure baby was in the correct presentation (it helps gravity carry the heaviest part of baby – the back of the head – forward in your belly) as she got lower and engaged and I truly feel THAT small adjustment in position that night early on in the labor process, saved me from another back labor birth.  

By 530/6am I got out of bed and labored on the birthing ball in the living room, as well as got some food and liquids in me since I was so dehydrated and empty from being sick the entire day before.  My first labor lasted over 24 hours, and I knew I needed some kind of calorie intake going if we were going to do another marathon like that. I could feel contractions were progressing MUCH quicker than my first pregnancy though and had a feeling we would be at the hospital soon.  By 7/730 I woke my husband up and let him know it was going to be a birth day!  We both took a shower and got ready, got my in-laws prepared for the day with Reign, and I just continued to labor at home – in my bed and on the birthing ball – until I felt we needed to go.  By 11:15 am, my contractions were about 1:30-2:00 long with about 5-7 minutes between. Brenton reminded me we didn’t want to have this baby at home and not to wait until the very last minute LOL.  We headed to the hospital to have a baby!

ARRIVAL AT THE HOSPITAL

When we got there, I was really pleased to see my doctor was on call and ready for me. They put us into triage so that they could monitor baby and check to make sure my labor was progressing before moving me to an actual room.  As SOON as I got into triage I told them I was wanting an epidural.  Since I had not slept very much the past two nights (first up all night puking, then up all night with contractions the next), I was EXHAUSTED and was hoping the epidural would allow me to sleep for a few hours before pushing baby out (this was the experience I had with Reign when I got one and if you have read that birth story – I truly believed it was the best thing for that birth!). They quickly got us to a birthing room as I was dilated to about a 6-7 when we arrived at the hospital.  Labor continued to progress pretty quickly.  I will say, as much pain and discomfort I was in laboring, NOTHING compared to back-labor with Reign and what that felt like.  Rylin’s labor was intense and hard, and painful as expected but overall I felt like it was much more bearable as I was getting a true break between contractions (even just a few minutes) which I did not get at all with Reign. 

When I got into my room, it was an entire ordeal trying to 1) give me a COVID test amidst really intense contractions and 2) trying to get my IV started (they were trying to do both at the same time LOL).  Because I was so dehydrated from the day before, there were numerous nurses struggling to find a vein that would not collapse that they would be able to put a needle in.  After about 5 tries, they found one that would hold BUT on my hand.  If you know anything about putting in an IV for birth, the hand is the last place you want to do it.  This was incredibly painful and incredibly unlike me (who usually has very full/visible veins) and REALLY showed me how dehydrated I was. Something I will NEVER forget in the middle of that labor.

Similar to my birth with Reign, this time around I had a “low intervention room” at the hospital.  This meant that I was able to get up and move around with a portable monitor on the baby and myself. I loved this option and spent quite a bit of time laboring on the toilet, in different positions on the bed, and even standing and moving around at certain points when it felt like I needed to in order to progress labor.  I was obviously still waiting for my epidural that I had requested literally THE MOMENT I SHOWED UP at the hospital LOL!  I am not sure if they were super busy or what, but they had taken (what felt like) a really long time to get to me.  When they finally arrived I was REALLY relieved as I was clearly progressing fast and in really intense contractions by then, as well as just plain old exhausted from the past few days/night of poor sleep and not feeling well. They were able to get it going for me. The nurses waited a bit for me to start to feel it. I explained I could still feel really intense contractions on one side (the other side it was certainly working on), so she rolled me onto my side in bed to let the medication kind of settle into that side. One contraction passed, and it felt like it worked great.  I told her that and she shut the lights off, walked out of the room and told me to finally get some rest. Man was I so excited for a little nap.

DELIVERY

BUT – the next contraction came with me on my side. I barely felt pain – but felt IMMENSE pressure that I had not felt yet. I can’t say I KNEW what the pressure feeling meant, but my body 100% instinctually knew. I whipped my head around to Brenton and said “you have to go get her, I need to push”.  His response was something like “Babe no way, she JUST laid you down”.  I said, “I know, but I have to push NOW!”

Sure enough, the same nurse rushed back in, turned the lights back on, checked me, and saw Rylin’s head.  She yelled to get my doctor and that it was baby time.  I did one solid push through the next contraction while my doctor was making her way to us.  Then, with the next contraction with doc present, I got another solid push in and out popped Rylin in a really relieving moment.  Just like her sister, she arrived with no trauma and no tearing.

At 2:46pm, less than 12 hours after my very first contraction, on the day they told me she would come 10 months ago, Rylin Murphy (7lb 6oz) became the 4th member of #TeamRoggow.  Crying, squirmy, slimy, and PERFECT – I could not believe how fast I birthed that child.  If you haven’t yet, go back and read my birth story from Reign.  It was a marathon filled with agony and lots of pain.  My birth with Rylin was not painless, that’s for sure.  But it felt so much quicker, under control, FAST, aggressive, yet simple.  As soon as she was out, they immediately turned off my epidural.  I was likely medicated for no more than 30 minutes, so it wore off very quickly and I was able to move around pretty soon after having her (way sooner than I was with Reign).  If you ask me what I remember most from the moments right after Rylin was born it was how insanely HUNGRY I was.  It’s as if the days and weeks of heartburn, nausea, and not being able to eat normally all caught up with me the moment my body realized baby was out.  I sent Brenton right away to go find a lunch tray for me 🤣.  His love and support during the birthing process cannot be understated.  I found out how much I needed and relied on him during my birth of Reign, and birthing Rylin reaffirmed it.  From the minute I told him contractions had started, he jumped right into super-dad mode and got all the parts moving to make sure Reign was taken care of, my job knew what was going on, and that the hospital got everything set the way they needed to when we arrived, and that he was exactly what I needed in each moment of labor. There’s something SO REASSURING about having te person you love and trust most there next to you when you are uncomfortable and in pain.  There is no doubt that I did the hard part to bring Rylin earthside, but it would be a hell of a lot harder without him. 

Just as my first experience was, in a completely different hospital in a completely different state, the L&D nursing staff and my doctor were absolutely amazing from start to finish.  Even in weird COVID times, they made me feel safe, taken care of in every minute, and gave me insane confidence and reassurance of my ability to birth this baby girl.  Both of my birth experiences were so very different yet both ended in perfect, healthy baby girls and for that I am so grateful.

It took me 18 months to write this story down.  It is Jan 12th, 2023 and I am currently 24 pregnant with my 3rd baby. Rylin turns 18 months this week and Reign is just shy of 3.5 years old.  I have remembered every detail about Rylin’s birth for the last 18 months, but as I learned to navigate 2 babies (now 2 toddlers) I never got the chance to write it down.  The longer I waited, the more daunting the task felt like.  I was afraid if I didn’t write it down now, I would lose the little details after another birthing experience so I made it a New Year’s Goal to get this story published and “premenent” before she was 18 months old. Looking back, her arrival into this work is VERY similar to her personality from day one – spicy, steadfast, aggressive, passionate, strong, and TOUGH. She came into this world SO FAST and determined, just like we’ve watched her do everything else this last year and a half. I love you Baby Rylin! You have added so much love and value to our family and I cannot wait to see you be a big sister soon!

With honor,
Rylin’s mama, Nicole

#HonorYourGifts

Its now been 3 whole weeks since Reign entered this world and its honestly so crazy to remember a time when she wasn’t part of our family.  Given our public following and the fact that so many people seemed so interested and had so many questions about my pregnancy and then about my birth – I wanted to put together something to explain how our perfect daughter entered this world.  Then, I didn’t want to.  I felt that in telling our story – people might compare or try and draw similarities (good or bad) from their experiences and that is not at all my intention in detailing her birth story.  Quite the opposite.

I finally decided to do this because if I write this all down, in detail, as its fresh in my mind – I will always have it.  I can share it with Reign later on, I can always go back to those few moments before I met her, the moments I waited SO LONG for.  I can relive over and over again in detail what my body went through and the effort, faith, and determination it took to get her earthside with us.

If you are reading this – please read it as a story that is totally separate of anything you have experienced or are going to experience.  Just as every pregnancy is unique, every baby is unique, and every mother and family is unique – so is every birth story.

Here is ours.

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You’ve never failed me yet

SETTING THE STAGE

I want to give you just a quick recap to set the stage, and add some drama to the whole thing.  I had a really “easy” and low risk pregnancy.  Everything was as it should be.  I stayed active, and was confident my body would know what to do when it was time.  After all, I WAS CREATED FOR THIS.  I talked to my doctor about wanting to deliver with as little intervention as possible. I wanted to be able to move around freely in labor and I had no intention of getting an epidural or having them use instruments unless anything was medically nessecary.  I wanted my body to be able to do as much as it could on its own – uninterrupted.  She was on board and suggested I work with a doula who could help me with some pain management techniques when the time came as well as helping to kickstart labor when it came time.  I took her advice and we prepared for Reign’s birth as a team of 4 – my OBGYN, my doula, my husband, and myself.  I had my last doctors appointment on my due date (Friday, Sept 13th).  At that appointment,  my doctor checked my progress and said she was pretty confident we would not see a baby that weekend.  She scheduled an induction for the following Friday (the 41 week mark).  I was pretty bummed with this and I remember being near tears in the shower that night over it (LOL hormones).  I wanted so badly for our baby to come when she was ready and when my body was ready.  I was even plotting how I was going to beg the doc for more time if Thursday night came and I was still pregnant.  However, in all of that, I just kept praying.  I kept praying that whatever God had planned to bring our baby into this world I was going to accept and trust that he would protect us and we would both be healthy in the end.  That had been my prayer since the day of conception and it was crazy to me that 9 months later on my very due date, I was saying the same prayer.  It wouldn’t be the last time.

Between that appointment and Reign’s arrival I made it my sole mission to focus all my efforts on helping my body progress as much as it could.  I felt that if I got to induction day, I wanted to know I did everything I possibly could have to go into labor naturally.  I went to the gym and exercised (some stair master, elliptical, walking, and squats).  I took hot baths with calry sage oil, and slept with some diffused into my pillowcase.  I continued to drink Red Raspberry Leaf Tea and eat pineapples.  I used a breast pump for nipple stimulation. I bounced on an exercise ball every chance I got.  I am not sure if any of these methods helped – but they sure didn’t hurt.  I was giving it my all.

EARLY LABOR (Sunday, Sept. 15th)

We had people over Saturday night.  I felt really crappy all day – something was different and I had NO appetite.  I didn’t want to jinx it though and I just kept thinking “its just in your head, you’ve felt this way all week”.  I went to bed early and said the same prayer I said every night since the 39 week mark haha “Please God, wake me up in labor”.  Sure enough my prayers were answered that night (however, I was still afraid to jinx it).  At 1:00 am I woke up to really intense back pain – I checked my watch out of habit and then all of a sudden, as quick as it came, it disappeared.  I decided to check my watch again, just in case – it was 2 minutes later.  I fell back asleep, only to wake up to another surge of back pain about 20 minutes later.  Again, I checked my watch and then checked again when it stopped.  Again, 2 minutes.  After this happened about 3x, almost exactly 20 minutes apart I remember thinking “THIS IS IT!” and then another voice in my head said “your back hurts silly, labor comes from your abdomen – you’re just having back pain, probably from sleeping so uncomfortably”.  So, I kind of shrugged it off even though this lasted until about 5:00 am.  After that one, I didn’t wake up until around 7:00 am.  My husband was playing golf early that Sunday and I woke up to him getting ready.  I didn’t say anything to him, again not wanting to jinx it.  I figured I would let him go play golf and tell him later if it was the real thing.   I mean, I hadn’t felt anything from 5-7am anyway, so it probably was nothing.  I got up and went about my morning routine.  I did some computer work from the exercise ball and texted my good friend Jenny (who happens to be a doctor) as well as my doula, and sister in law (who is a mom of 4) for their thoughts.  They all agreed it sounded like something was happening and encouraged I move around a bit.

At around 9:00am I went out on a walk with my dog, Biggie Smalls.  We walked the same 1.5 mile course we had been walking for weeks now.  We did it at a pace that was almost 10 minutes slower than normal (which I didn’t realize until after I gave birth and looked back on the Fitbit data!).  About half way into the walk, the back pain I felt the night before came back.  This time, it was around 12-15 minute intervals, still lasting about 2:00.  This is when I started tracking it on my app.  Jenny had mentioned something about “back labor” and so I figured this is how it was going to be for me – I would simply feel contractions in my back instead of my abdomen (maaaannnn I had NO IDEA what I was in for with this!).  By the time I was approaching my driveway at the end of the walk, I was wincing in pain – it felt like someone was starting to hammer on my tailbone and I knew all I wanted to do was take a hot shower and try to lay down.

Before getting in the shower, I noticed some discharge I knew meant baby was on its way.  However, I still wasn’t sure HOW SOON that would mean, I just was pretty confident it was the real thing at this point. I laid down and tried to take a nap, thinking I was likely in for a pretty long night ahead and then weeks and months of little sleep when Reign came.  It seemed like the best idea in the moment, however the back pain was getting worse and worse, and closer and closer together (now about 8:00 apart consistently) so falling asleep never happened.  I finally texted my husband at this point (probably around 1-2pm) and said something like “Hey, pretty sure well see a baby here within the next day”.  He responded something like “okay, should I come home now?” and I assured him he didn’t have to rush, he was fine to finish playing and head home – but when you get here, its going to get real.

LABORING AT HOME (Sunday, Sept 15th)

I spent the rest of the day walking around my house doing last minute things.  Making sure the dishwasher was loaded and running, doing laundry, answering as many client check ins as I could, sweeping our house, loving on our dogs, making sure I had everything in my hospital bag, getting my paperwork together.  At one point, Brenton asked me something like “Are you walking around non-stop to try and break your water or something?!”.  “Not at all” was my answer – “my back just hurts way too bad to sit or lay down”.  The ONLY position that felt comfortable, the position I would be in until about 2am that night was walking, swaying, or standing leaned over on a counter or bed or chair.  Being upright on my feet was my best bet and sitting or lying down was almost out of the question already.

The upright/leaned over position I would spend almost all of my labor in from the time it started at home.

At about 5pm Brenton and I had the REAL conversation “Okay, so when are we going to go in?”.  We decided I would stay home as long as I could tolerate it (we live a mile from the hospital).  He finished watching the Sunday night football game, showered, packed, and got us some dinner.  We fed and took care of the dogs for the night, packed the car, loaded the car seat, and were ready to go.  I barely got down half the sandwich he got for me and really only did so because I honestly didn’t know when my next meal would be.  At this point, my back contractions were about 3 minutes apart and were still lasting about 90 seconds.  I was in a good amount of pain and was honestly worried if we waited much longer the – although short – drive to the hospital was going to be way more painful than it needed to be. So, instead of going to bed Sunday night, we left for the hospital shortly after 9pm.  The drive to the hospital was one of the most surreal and exciting drives of my life.  Its like the thing you have been wondering about for MONTHS now is only hours away.  I said more prayers, promised it was all in God’s hands, and got excited for everything that was about to happen.  I could not believe we were finally going to meet her.

ARRIVAL AT THE HOSPITAL (Sunday, Sept. 15th)

We get to the hospital, they check us in and put me in a small holding room.  While we are waiting, I tell Brenton “with how close these are and how painful they are already, I wouldnt be surprised if I am already at a 6-7”.  LOL.

The doctor working checks me and says “Ehh about a 3, but I can feel her head right there”.  She THEN tells me “We are going to give you an hour to progress and if we don’t see much progress we will send you home and you can come back when you are closer”.  At this point I CANNOT sit down and its painful to even lie down for her to check me.  She leaves and I tell Brenton there is no chance I am going back home tonight.  Minutes later, my OBGYN walks in the door!  She said she was on call that night and saw we checked in.  (I cannot say enough good things about Dr. Jessica Standeford – she was amazing from start to finish.)  She sees the state of pain I am in and that I can’t sit down.  I explain everything, how long this has been going, how its progressed, etc.  She agrees there is no need for me to go back home and would talk to them and explain.  She comes back a bit later with the news that “they agreed, but you have to walk the halls for an hour before going up to your room” – she also came in with the ultrasound machine as protocol to check baby and make sure she wasn’t breech.  As soon as the wand touched the top of my pelvis – we saw my daughter’s cute little nose facing up!  The doctor looks at me and says “THIS is why your back hurts so much – she’s what we call ‘Sunny Side Up’ and her skull is rubbing along your tailbone as shes coming down”.  “AWESOME” I thought, “Reign isn’t going to make this easy”.  My doctor then looks me in the eye and says “I know the epidural isnt in your plan and we have you in a low intervention room, but know that if you feel you need it, all you have to do is ask.”  She said it so reassuring and positive in a way that didn’t make me feel like she thought I COULDN’T get through this without it.  Instead it actually gave me more confidence that no matter what happens tonight – this was all going to be okay.

LABOR (Sunday, Sept. 15th)

I did as I was asked and walked the halls for an hour.  The entire time my doula and I were trying to rotate Reign so that she turned facing my back (an anterior lie) to relieve the back labor.  I had done this numerous times throughout late pregnancy when I could feel her back to back (a posterior lie) with me.  However, NOTHING seemed to work likely due to the fact that she was already wedged in the birth canal or at least close and turning her through movement at this point was almost impossible.

This is where it got pretty bad.  My team and I worked together to manage pain as best we could in the hallways.  I just remember walking and stopping every few steps – leaning against the wall and focusing on my breath.  At one point, I had to stop and puke in the janitors cart because the back pain was so intense.  Still, I would just focus on making it through one contraction at a time.  I had prepared for some pain and discomfort and just kept focusing on breath work and trusting my body.  Eventually, I told them “okay I am done walking around like this, I need to get to my room”.

We finally got upstairs into a room and I was SO EXCITED to get into the jacuzzi.  The low intervention room had a nice large tub with jacuzzi jets and I had been thinking about this for the past hour and how it would help.  I thought for sure getting in there with the jets on my back would be of some relief and I couldn’t wait to try it.  Joke was on me though, as even in the tub I couldn’t sit down without making the pain much worse.  I opted for this wide squat stance leaning over the side of the tub.  It helped for just a bit.  Brenton put some worship music on and honestly conversations that I had while in the tub are the last real conversations I remember having with anyone in the room until after 2am.  Things started to build while I was in there and eventually I needed to get out and stand, leaning over something again, as that was still my most bearable position.

The tub I THOUGHT would give me some relief. It was short lived.

From the time I got out of the tub until about 2am is a blur – I have no idea how long it actually was.  I remember leaning over the side of the bed as things escalated.  Brenton was rubbing my back as the contraction came for some counter pressure.  But when the contraction would leave, I would still be left with excruciating back pain until the next one came again.  I remember a few things during this time:  I remember repeating over and over again that I just NEEDED A REST, I remember my legs shaking from standing for so long at this point, and I remember praying over and over that this wouldn’t last for much longer.  I then remember nearly crying through two contractions in a row despite all of my effort to stay calm and breath through the pain.  I remember looking down at the heart rate recorded on my watch and seeing numbers between 150-160 bpm – my thoughts immediately shifted from dealing with my pain to realizing what my body was actually going through and remembering my daughter was inside, trying to make her exit.  I think that’s when it all came to me – this was not a workout I had to be tough in, this was not a score on a leader board I was fighting for, this wasn’t a championship game I needed to grind in – I WAS HELPING ANOTHER HUMAN INTO THE WORLD.

Instantly, my first motherly protective instinct kicked in and I knew that if I “toughed this out” for much longer – my baby would run the risk of being in distress and it would likely mean an emergency to get her out.  Maybe that wouldn’t of happened – but in the moment, I wasn’t going to run that risk to prove anything.  This wasn’t about me.  On the third contraction that nearly brought me to tears – I finally looked at the nurse in charge and said “GIVE ME AN EPIDURAL”, without hesitation she started making moves to make that happen.

I then looked at Brenton saying “I want the epidural” affirmatively, almost looking for acceptance from him.   I remember feeling guilty over it.  Guilty that I somehow failed my husband and my child for asking for the drug.  Guilty that I didn’t stick to my plan, or do what I said I was going to do in not using interventions.  Before that guilt could last any longer, my husband – just being himself – said something along the lines of “okay, that’s your call!” with the very assuring attitude of “I trust you.”  Instantly the needless guilt disappeared.  I asked the nurse if she could check me one more time.  I thought to myself “Okay – if I am at an 8 or higher I will just make it through without the drug, it won’t be much longer”.  She checked and I was still only 6cm dilated! (Contractions with back labor come closer together and more intense so it sort of gives the illusion you are further along in labor than you actually are.)  I confirmed with her that I wanted the epidural and before I knew it the anesthesiologist was in to administer it.

This is probably the point of labor I was most proud of and thankful for my husband.  Without him, I am not so sure the epidural would have been possible.  Remember, it is incredibly painful for me to even sit down at this point.  So, needing to sit still for long enough to get large needles in a specific place in my spine was for sure not easy.  They raised the table up getting my feet were off the ground so I wouldn’t instinctively try to get up. Brenton stood in front of me as I squeezed him SO HARD as each contraction came.  He was scrubbed up so really all I could see of his face was his bright blue eyes which were HUGE at this point.  I just remember staring into them and squeezing as I prayed through each contraction.  I’m sure it was pretty quick but I promise it felt like the longest minutes of labor.  However, within seconds of them completing the procedure, it was instant relief throughout my body.

The mood in the room changed 100%.  I could finally hold a conversation and think about something else besides my back pain.  They laid me down comfortably, dimmed the lights, sat my husband next to me and around 2:00 am, Brenton and I finally got some rest.  We both fell asleep (FINALLY some rest!) and woke around 4:00 am to the nurse who came in to check progress.  As she was getting setup, my mind was racing.  I was so worried I may have stalled labor with the epidural and that I wouldn’t have progressed.  Turns out, just the opposite happened and she told me I was now at an 8.  In that moment I knew I had made the right call for my family and I knew God was laughing like “Dang, I TOLD YOU I GOT YOU!”  Another hour later, shortly after 5:00 am, my OBGYN came in and checked me again.  She said “You’re about a 9.5 right now.  How about we break your water and have this baby?!”  Brenton and I both looked at each like like – okay, HERE WE GO.

Dr. Standeford’s first good look at Reign after she was born.

DELIVERY (Monday, Sept 16th)

After my water was broken, it was time to start pushing.  It was now right around 5:30am on Monday morning.  I think this was the part of it all that I was MOST unprepared for.  Pushing was way harder than I thought!  I knew first time moms usually push for longer (especially with an epidural).  However I guess I really didn’t know all that actually entailed.  About 10-15 minutes into pushing, our good friend and resident doctor Karissa Merritt (now Connolly) entered the L&D room and took the hands on lead delivering Reign as my OBGYN sat behind her and guided her.  I trust Karissa SO MUCH and it was such a sense of security having her hands on my daughters head helping her enter this world.  Because my contractions were long, I was able to get 4 pushes per contraction (instead of the usual 3).  They set up a mirror for me (I highly recommend this!) to be able to watch Reign making her way out.  It helped me focus my pushing efforts in the right area and also served as encouragement as I could see the progress she was making with each push.

I pushed for what felt like FOREVER.  I would spend my time between contractions breathing, regaining strength, and zoning in on Reign’s heart rate that I could hear on the monitor.  At one point, I knew I had been pushing for over an hour and that my baby had been mushed in the birth canal for that long.  There were so many nurses and doctors in the L&D room talking, but all I could hear was her heart rate as I prayed it would stay strong and consistent.  The last thing I wanted after all of that, was her heart rate to drop and they have to emergency her out.  With my husband at my head and shoulders helping me push – FINALLY after almost 2 hours of doing so, at 7:07am on September 16th, Reign Marie joined us weighing 7lb 12oz and measuring 20.5 inches long.  My husband, the Patriots fan from Nebraska, will tell you about how she was first conceived in Boston and how she was then born to Tom Brady highlights as ESPN was on in the background and that it was all perfectly meant to be.  I will just tell you of a sweet little baby that brought her brand new mama to tears – even after a painful and drama filled labor and delivery failed to do so.  Yep, I cried when she was laid on me.

WE DID IT.

I cried because all the things I had worried about happening leading up to and through delivery – I didn’t have to worry about anymore.  I cried because every prayer I had through the entire process had been strategically answered one by one.  I cried because I knew all the places this could have gone wrong and didn’t.  I cried because my husband got to finally meet and feel his daughter after I carried her for 9 months.  I cried because my baby’s screams were SO LOUD I knew she was so stinkin’ strong and just as relieved as I was for it all to be over.  It was total relief the second I saw her, and I honestly was on such a high from it.  I was so proud of myself for making decisions along the way to get her here safely.  I knew more than ever that God has a strong hand on my family and we are loved and protected.

This is OUR story and one that I will cherish forever.  I was encouraged by some moms to make sure I recorded it while it was fresh in my mind and man I am SO GLAD I did.  If you are pregnant, or a new mom, seriously think about documenting your birth story.  As I said before, each one is incredibly unique and special.

With honor,
Reign’s mama, Nicole.

#HonorYourGifts

Let’s talk Thanksgiving Day! Too often, I hear how much anxiety a day like Thanksgiving brings to my clients.  A holiday that is basically centered around how much food we can stuff into our face in one sitting terrifies many people who are on a weight loss, or health and fitness journey.   I put together a quick list of my favorite strategies to help you relax and enjoy the day!

1) Be Active During The Day.

Avoid sitting around for extended periods of time.  Come up with ideas ahead of time as to how to be active and get your family involved!  Maybe it’s playing with younger cousins, helping in the kitchen, taking a walk with a grandparent or another family member you want to catch up with, or serving at a homeless shelter for lunch.  It may even be as simple and fun as a game of charades, Twister, or Wii Sports!  But, find a way to NOT be sedentary all day.

2) Pregame With Plenty of Water.

If you are hydrated properly and consistently drinking water the day before and day of Thanksgiving, you will be a lot less likely to overeat.  Fill up some of that empty room in your stomach with a constant supply of water and watch as your ability to stuff yourself goes down.  Proper hydration will also offset some of the excess sugar and salt that may be ingested and will make you feel better the next morning. 

3) Don’t Deprive Yourself. 

Do not fall into the trap of not eating all day and waiting until Thanksgiving dinner to stuff your face.  When you are overly hungry, it is much easier to overeat at a meal because your “fullness” cues are slightly delayed.  A better strategy? Eat your normal breakfast and lunch, and treat dinner as “just another meal” (filled with your favorites of course!)

4) The “One Plate” (plus one) Method.

I always recommend this strategy for any kind of potluck, gathering, buffet style meal.  It especially applies to Thanksgiving which is almost always a buffet style meal of only the best stuff on earth!  Fill a plate.  Fill it with your favorites, your less than macro friendly, best meal of the year, only get it that one time of year when I see Aunt Sue, favorites.  But after that one plate, you are then allowed ONE more scoop of your BEST pick from the meal.  This is plenty of food.  I promise you.  Refer to #5.

5) Enjoy The Company.

I understand Thanksgiving is often all about the food, but have something planned as a light discussion topic for dinner.  Focus your energy on the company – catching up, remember whens, learning more about a loved ones current life.  Invest in the people around you and really listen and engage with them.  Coming up with these topics on the spot doesn’t always work well.  Start thinking about what you want to learn, ask, and conversate about ahead of time.  Saving these topics for dinner will shift your focus to the REAL joy of Thanksgiving while keeping you from solely focusing on the plate in front of you.

6) Eat Dessert. 

No catch here.  Just enjoy it!  Pick your favorite dessert from the options available and have that.  Thanksgiving, the holidays, and family time, are just as much about enjoying things that make you happy, and lets be honest – Grandma’s pie makes us happy!  By having dessert, ONE dessert, and moving on, we are eating responsibly and enjoying the moment. 

7) Get Back On Track The Next Day.

Don’t let Thanksgiving open up the door to “eat mindlessly until Christmas, hashtag holiday season”.  There are 32 days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Get back into your routine for another month, and then follow these simple guidelines once again!

For year round nutrition coaching and accountability – head over to

http://www.HonorYourNutrition.com

Follow me on Instagram: @ncapurso22 @honoryournutrition

If you follow me on social media, the past few weeks you have probably noticed me reference a Nutrition Challenge at some point.  You probably have also noticed there is a lot more pictures of clean food on my plate and a lot less pictures of the treats that I love so much.  I’ve promised a blog and some more information about it a few times – so here is me delivering!

My husband Brenton and I eat well for the most part – as I preach so often, we track our intake 80% of the time, and fill that intake with clean, nutrient dense food 80% of the time.  We are busy, prioritize fitness, and enjoy structure and eating well.  However, we are also human and enjoy the occasional date night, nights out with friends, glass of alcohol, and sporadic trips to Andy’s (the best frozen custard, EVER.)

I have eaten Paleo for 2 years straight, cut weight numerous times, as well as done different month long “parameter” diets such as the Daniel Fast in the past.  However, Brenton has done none of the above.  He had never put parameters on his nutrition for a certain period of time.  He is also the man that likes about 2 types of fruit (we may have not stretched it to 5), and chokes down vegetables just because I tell him he should.   So, you can imagine my surprise when he came to me and said he wanted to “eat clean” for a certain period of time.  He asked me to put together some guidelines and said he would execute what I thought that should look like.  I told him I would lay out a plan that we would do for just under 30 days (from July 5th until he leaves for the CF Games on August 1st). 

When creating the plan I took some things into consideration:

• We would still be very active between training, coaching, and working and I needed to make sure we stayed properly fueled in the process.
• Brenton has a history of injuries, many that leave him with some serious inflammation day to day and I believe it gets irritated even more by certain aspects of his diet
• Without a community doing it along side us, I knew it would be pretty challenging to stay the course

I took my knowledge of various ways of eating and developed these guidelines for our challenge which we have nicknamed “The Brenton-Get-Jacked Challenge”

ELIMATE:

• grains
• dairy (excluding eggs)
• processed food
• fried food
• added or artifical sugar
• alcohol

We made a few exceptions to this as we kept in plain oats and potatoes of any kind to keep carb intake where it needed to be.  We also kept in whey protein supplements, and dextrose for intra-workout fuel.  We would still be tracking and weighing our food as much as we could in order to make sure we didn’t have too much of a drop off in caloric intake.

Once we came up with this plan, we invited everyone we knew to join it on it with us.  It was pretty awesome how many friends jumped on board and are doing this along with us now! We created a WhatsApp group and have been sharing recipes, questions, struggles, and progress pictures!  Having the support of friends around you during something like this makes it a heck of a lot easier.

WHY?

I coach nutrition daily.   If you are one of my clients or have ever worked with me before you know this is not the way I coach, or my initial recommendation.  Actually,  I am very well known for coaching FLEXIBILITY with nutrition and encouraging that treats, sweets, and not so nutrient dense food here and there are actually good and encouraged for longevity, as it keeps you “sane” and satisfies those real life scenarios and social situations that we all enjoy so much.  However, I do think it is really important to do a bit of “annual cleaning” and some kind of “challenge” like this one month out of the year – last August was the Daniel Fast for me.  When deciding on a route – do your research!  Do not do anything drastic like trying to eliminate one entire macronutrient group and be sure to keep an overall BALANCED nutrition no matter what your parameters are!

I encourage this method with most of my clients at some point and I think it is really important for a few reasons.  First, it challenges you to a dose of mental toughness and shows you the discipline you are truly capable of when you commit to something.  Second, it teaches you ALOT.  It teaches you to read ingredients (you learn how many items sugar is actually added to), it teaches you how to get creative and how to think outside the box to build meals, it teaches you some new food you might like that you may have never tried before.  When you are left to eat fruit and veggies in abundance, you often try new things to keep variety!  And most importantly, it teaches you how to clean up your order at restaurants and make substitutions or better choices in social situations. 

Health is also an obvious answer to “why”.  So much of the food we eat on a day to day basis is damaging to our bodies, and doing a full nutritional clean up like this once a year can give our bodies a much needed rest and reset.

ONE WEEK IN:

The first week was very likely the hardest part (as it always is with a major adjustment like this).  First, I had to make sure the house was stocked with everything we could have and that all the “elimination foods” were out of the house or just replaced with other items.  We were eating a ton of rice and bread, so a lot of that needed to go and I needed to get creative with what we would have instead.   The hardest part for both Brenton and I for sure was the sugar withdrawal that comes the first 3 days.  It is actually pretty scary how awful your body feels coming “off” added or artificial sugar.  We were both suffering from headaches, irritability, fatigue, and just overall yucky feeling – almost as if we had the flu.  By day 4 however, that passed and we finally felt back to ourselves and feeling even better.

Physically, my performance has felt great and I feel like my aerobic capacity has increased which I know is a direct result of eliminating sugar. Inflammation has also decreased (as Brenton feels it has for him as well).  I often suffer from an uncomfortable stomach and that has also seemed to subside eating this way. 

Aesthetically we have noticed a big difference as well.  I feel less inflamed visually and less puffy which I think was a result of water retention from the excess sugar I was intaking.  We have both lost a bit of weight, but nothing significant as I do not want to wither away simply because I have changed up my nutrition parameters.  Below are some Week 1 progress photos that we all have shared so you guys can see exactly what I am talking about!

I will write another piece toward the end of this challenge with final updated pictures! 

If you have any questions, are looking for nutrition coaching, or want to get started on something like this and need more advice – send me over an email or visit my website at:

nicole.capurso@gmail.com

HONOR YOUR NUTRITION .com

Follow us on Instagram:
@NCapurso22  and @i_am_brenton7

**Most of our daily meals are made easier by Trifecta Nutrition.  We trust Trifecta for quality and care of our food 100%.  If you have not checked them out, click HERE to take a closer look.

Dietary fat is one of the three macronutrients that make up our diet. It is an essential part of our nutrition, but can be pretty complex to understand. There are so many subgroups of “fat”, that we, as a society, have formed these stigmas or preconceived notions on what is “good” and what is “bad”.

I am sure you have heard that fat makes you fat, that eating too much fat increases cholesterol, and that the key to a low calorie diet is eliminating all dietary fat. While there is some underlying (very underlying) truth to these statements, when taken to the extreme they are without question – incorrect.

On the other hand, I am sure you have been fed some information explaining how eating an incredibly high fat but low carbohydrate diet is the key to losing fat and “becoming lean”. You were excited to hear this, and ran to the grocery store throwing every fatty meat, cheese, egg, avocados, oil and nut you could find in the store in your cart feeling like you finally cracked the nutrition code!

But, then you started asking more questions, doing more research, and you learned there was a bit more to it. You were told all fats weren’t created equal, that there was “good” and “bad”. Now, things got a bit more confusing when it came to fat. What about the different TYPES of fat?! Saturated/unsaturated? Monounsaturated? Polyunsaturated? Omegas?? What are those? How does cholesterol play into the whole thing? You were more confused than ever.

I understand how all of this information can be confusing, and trust me – there really is no simple explanation. However, I am writing this in hopes to clarify and simplify some facts about FAT and allow you a bit more understanding one piece at a time. There is a ton of information that would take up more than this single, short blog piece – but we will focus on one aspect of fat.

This piece will be focused on Omega Fatty Acids and how they come into play in our nutrition.

What does dietary fat do for us?
*note: the below benefits are from ALL fat – both saturated and unsaturated,
including Omega 3’s and 6’s so we would not want a diet that is absent of one particular type

– provides us with the most energy of any macro nutrient (9 calories per gram)
– primary energy source for babies and kids under 14 years old
– secondary energy source for adults
– helps make steroid hormones (sex hormones, courticosteroid hormones)
– forms cell membranes, primarily those of the brain and nervous system
– helps transport fat soluble vitamins (Vitamin A, D, E, K)
– provides us with TWO fatty acids we cannot make on our own: OMEGA 3 and OMEGA 6

We will discuss that last one a bit further.

OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDS
(anti-inflammatory)

Where can I find Omega 3’s
– marine life (I.e. salmon, sardines, mackerel, cod, algae)
– walnuts
– seeds (chia, flax, hemp)
–  Brussel sprouts
– spinach
– egg yolks from Omega-3 enriched hens (fed the above seeds)
– soybeans
– wild rice

There are three types of Omega 3’s:
1. Alphalinolenic (ALA)
2. Docosahexaenoic Acid (DHA)
3. Eicosapentaenoic Acid (EPA)

ALA is a popular Omega 3 source amongst plant based eaters as its is mainly found in seeds such as chia, flax, and hemp, as well as walnuts. But, the latter two, DHA and EPA, are the fatty acids we are most concerned with in Omega 3 supplementation, as they are the most beneficial to our body. They are found primarily in marine sources like fish and algae. It is important to get direct forms of these two, as we are unable to covert ALA into DHA or EPA in our bodies.

Why are 3’s so important?
– dilate blood vessels
– prevent blood coagulation (clotting)
– lower inflammation
– decrease pain
– dilate airways
– keep cell membranes more fluid causing: improved brain function, increased insulin sensitivity, and improved joint health
– aid in fat transport

OMEGA 6 FATTY ACIDS
(pro-inflammatory)

Where can I find Omega 6’s?
– most oils
– coconut
– fried foods, snacks baked in oil (chips)
– most nuts (excluding walnuts)
– dairy (cheese, milk, butter)
– cookies, candy, pastries, muffins
– dark poultry, pork, beef

There are three types of Omega 3’s:
1. Linoleic Acid ( (LA)
2. Gamma-linolenic Acid (GLA)
3. Alpha-linolenic Acid (AA)

Why are 6’s so important?
– constricting blood vessels
– clotting blood
– increasing inflammation
– increasing pain
– constricting airways

Essentially, 6’s do the exact opposite of 3’s. These may seem like negative effects for the body, however we do need these processes to occur to be able to come back from injuries and recover from daily training sessions and workouts.

What does this all mean?

We need both Omega 6’s and 3’s – but in proper balance. It may be surprising that the proper balance does actually mean getting more 6’s than 3’s. However, in the current American diet, the ratio of Omega 6 to Omega 3 is about 10:1 and can even be unbalanced up to about 20:1. This ratio is so off because we are so often consuming an abundance of refined oils and processed foods in the modern world. Years ago, our ancestors had a more exemplary and much healthier ratio of about 2:1 and only up to about 8:1 on the higher end.

There are some simple steps you can take to ensure that you are able to get your 6 and 3 ratio back in proper balance:
1. Eat less industrial oils and processed foods (less corn and soybean oil).
2. Eat a more varied spectrum of plant and animal foods (fatty fish, wild game).
3. Consider supplementation (fish oil, or vegan algae oil).

Driven Nutrition’s Omega Drive

The main approach we should have toward fat, as with nutrition as a whole, is balance. We should never look to eliminate, or negatively view one specific macronutrient (I.e. “sugar is worse than fat”). Nor, should we view the macronutrient subgroups that way (I.e “I am going to eat NO Omega 6’s because they are bad!). We want to incorporate a balanced ratio of macronutrients and their sub groups into our diet. When it comes to fat, eating a wide variety of natural, minimally processed sources, as well as supplementing with a reliable Omega 3 product, we can ensure we are getting proper quantities of dietary fat daily.

Author’s Note:

Personally I use Driven Nutrition for all of my supplement needs. Omega’s are no different. I trust their products and I know their Omega Drive formula has the highest quantity of DHA and EPA. You can get your own Driven Nutrition Omega Drive by clicking on this link!

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